Good advice, or bad? Wise to seek advice from this source or not?

Hanging on for Dear Life
Thu Apr 19, 2:00 AM ET

DEAR MARGO: I am 32 years old and in school earning a second bachelor's degree. I currently live with my parents, though I did spend 11 years on my own. I moved back with them four years ago, after leaving a relationship, thinking that when I was able to support myself, I would. However, I've found that has not happened. My parents are paying for my schooling (tuition and books) and do not charge rent. They have bought me a car and a laptop. They are very generous, and I am grateful for what they have done for me. I work hard at school and have a decent GPA in a difficult major (engineering). I also work 20 hours a week at an internship.

When I discussed moving out with my father, he refused to hear my reasons for wanting to move and became irate when I continued to talk about it. He says it isn't wise to move out now, because then I can't save money. My argument is that at 32, I should be on my own.

I am willing to give up the free tuition and books, but I fear that it may damage my relationship with my parents if I just leave. They have also told me that there is no reason for me to date, and that I need to stop being so "boy crazy" and concentrate on school.

In spite of that, I have been dating a wonderful, smart and loving man for over three years, but it's beginning to take a toll on both of us, because I have to lie to my parents in order to spend time with him.

I am an only child. I know I can move out at any time, but I want to be independent without losing my parents.



--- SAD AND TIRED OF LYING

DEAR SAD: I'm afraid you may have to lose your parents if you are looking to be independent. To be a 32-year-old woman who is accused of being "boy crazy" and told "there is no reason to date" is to be victimized by nutty parents.

And having to lie about seeing a lovely man -- for three years, yet -- means your parents are working extra hard at infantilizing you. Leave "home" now, and take your chances with tuition. Do not enable Mom and Pop in their effort to keep you their little girl forever.



--- MARGO, AUTONOMOUSLY